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Music and Second Life:
12/07/14: When I first entered Second Life back in 2010 some of the first few
people I remember be-friending me took me to virtual clubs (likely after first
taking me freebie clothes shopping). These particular virtual be-frienders were
female (I'm a guy by-the-way) but from what I recall, there was nothing, you
know - "girl-guy" - going on, not in my mind at least, although when employing
hind-sight to these encounters I do wonder if there was the same innocence with
my dance-partners - considering we were "couple dancing" and the dance
animations your avatar is subjected to could be described as somewhat risquet!
The reason I ponder this hind-sight hypothesis is because my view of "dancing in
Second Life" has changed over time - likely with a combination of shedding some
naivety, and experiences in the virtual world as being a guy, and a girl (I have
an "alt" by the way - more on that shortly).
Anyway, my innocent dancing days were a good way to
hang out with someone, chat and discuss random Second Life stuff, some real
world topics perhaps, and listen to the music - I will comfortably listen to
most genres of music, so I didn't mind so much which club I was at. Being in a
club in Second Life (or indeed any sim where music is streamed in the
background) can be just like listening to the radio, in Second Life you can
teleport to a club and just park your avatar there, minimise the viewer window
and get on with stuff in real life, with the music playing in the background
(often with a virtual DJ talking in between each track), although avi-parking is
not something I like.
As time has moved on, and I think this is mainly due
to my internet data allowance restrictions, I've listened to music online less
and less. I have also strayed away from those early dancing days in Second Life
as I moved on to exploring other sims (visiting different clubs to find new
people to chat to, and to find music to suit my mood was probably an early phase
of that). Just like the real world (but with more freedoms to do so) I like the
exploration aspect of Second Life, but in the virtual counterpart you can
quickly find new places to visit and teleport there in a flash - no travelling
expenses or arranging for neighbours to feed the cats required. For this reason,
seeing other people seeming to only ever visit clubs, or even only ever visit
one particular club or sim, day after day (even standing in the same spot), is
depressing for me - seeing them makes me think they just don't see the
fascination I do of having a whole world to visit, right at their fingertips (a
blindness that must surely inflict on their real life too - that's a shame),
even if they happen to like the music there. But who am I to judge, really?
Hypocritically (I am aware) I have to be revisiting the same place to see them
there yet again - but I use this awareness to give myself a kick - a kick not to
become too comfortable in one particular place I guess, a kick to seek and find
more.
Taking a step back for a moment, to explain the
whole avatars dancing together thing, as I feel an explanation is in order here
- it could be said that some people "get it", and some people don't. The latter
ones, in extreme cases will say that the avatar is little more than a cartoon
character that is moved around on the screen, and that they have no emotional
connection to those "pixels", and to do otherwise is "stupid". The former ones
will feel that their avatar is an extension of themselves, how it looks, dresses
and appears to behave is an expression of themselves (even if not remotely
similar in visual appearance to their physical real life selves) - while the
avatar itself has no feelings or personality of its own (or maybe some might
even object to this claim), their own feelings and personality are expressed
upon it, so that what the avatar appears to experience, witness or feel, their
real life self will experience also - kind of like watching a TV show or film
(we laugh, we cry, or even get aroused during those - right?!) One word I think
can be used to describe this: 'empathy'. Without getting into too much detail
about the two camps in Second Life, those without empathy for their avatar (or
other's), and those with, I think the former camp can be divided again, into
those who have always seen avatars in this "lifeless" way, or those that
recognise some empathic yearnings and fight them off (maybe having such feelings
in the past), now branding such thoughts as foolish (and therefore anyone that
indulges in them as foolish too.) I like to think that everyone, with or without
empathy for an avatar, is capable of caring about the feelings of those behind
the avatar.
That explanation may sound overly critical or harsh,
but I think it's important to be aware of how different people treat Second
Life. Like with many differences in all worlds, it is possible to respect and
accept differences, it's just that in extreme cases it can be a challenge for
some to 'get along' with those at extreme ends of the spectrum (especially if we
assume a lack of flexibility in those extreme cases). The reason I made the
effort to write that explanation is because seeing two characters/people/avatars
dancing together can make you feel like you yourself is experiencing that. In my
early days in Second Life it didn't mean so much - but I suppose it felt
comfortable to have my avatar close to the avatar of person I was talking to -
our avatars were close, so therefore we were close. In fact being in different
sims while chatting via instant messenger seems less sociable and can make
conversation a challenge - the ability to "hang out" with someone from another
part of the world, in a way that brings us together is the great attraction of
Second Life.
In real life I have very few 'club-going'
experiences, let alone experiences of asking or being asked to dance. For this
reason I'm probably less likely to have any real life experiences to help me to
relate to my avatars in those situations, but I'm human and watch TV and films -
so I obviously know how these situations can work! As my time in Second Life has
plodded on, and my experiences grown, and I think in particular from the
experience of having a female 'alt', I know even more about how these situations
can work (although I really don't think I was that naive in my early days!).
Take this scenario: a guy walks into a club (no this isn't the opening line to a
joke), he sees an attractive young lady not obviously dancing or socialising
with anyone else and he proceeds to ask her to dance. The intention of the guy
is to get close to the young lady (this is obvious right?), but close might mean
to provide an opportunity to talk, or it might mean sex (the former might lead
to the latter - the wise may accept that the latter is unlikely to lead to much
of the former). To be honest I think my early days in Second Life were about
getting close enough to people to chat, but as my eyes opened to a world where
some people's intention seems to be based around sex it made me analyse my
intentions, and I lead me to become self-conscious, in a Freudian way: "in
saying hi and starting a conversation with this young lady am I actually looking
for something more?" (without the "I am looking for something more" intention
being at the forefront of my consciousness). I am especially conscious of this
intention because I rarely open a conversation with a guy.
From having a female avatar, aka an "alt"
(alternative avatar) in Second Life, I learned more about the intentions of
others, in particular other guys, and the common techniques dictated and
developed by those intentions. Again, it does depress me, because, if I may
paraphrase my earlier paragraph: witnessing other people seeming to approach
members of the opposite sex with the same opening lines and techniques time
after time, is depressing for me - witnessing this makes me think they just
don't see the fascination of having a whole world to visit (instead of just
trying to gain one thing - something that must surely inflict on or hinder their
real life too) - this behaviour of guys is common on other social networking
platforms too, twitter, facebook, deviantart, so it's not just something that
happens in the confines of a virtual world, it's a real world behavioural trait.
Again, who am I to judge, really? Maybe I'm a hypocrite, maybe my intentions are
the same as anyone else's - we are all human after all - but again I use this
awareness to give myself a kick - a kick not to become what I dislike in others,
a kick to seek and to find more in life.
Perhaps this is a strange criticism to have, coming
from a guy - after all, many women in Second Life criticise the common approach
by men: if you read user profiles of women in the virtual world (as I do) they
often demand more than just a "hi", and no they don't want "that", and in
speaking to these people, some have taught themselves to decline all requests
from strangers to dance (because their experiences dictate that is generally
fuelled by one basic intention). But women have their "basic intentions" too, I
don't doubt, although having an alt doesn't exactly make me privy to that
intelligence - I can only guess.
After writing all that I'll tell you now what
spurred me on to write about this topic of Music and Second Life. I just
listened to the song Home by Sheryl Crow - I've heard it before, I have it on
her Best Of album, but on this occasion some lyrics stuck out and made me think
about Second Life:
I like to see the rivierra
And slow-dance underneath the stars,
I like to watch the sun come up,
In a stranger's arms.
This is home.
Reading those lines doesn't do it
justice so you'll just have to listen out for them in the video (2 minutes in):
[link]
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